Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
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