dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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