Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
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He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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