Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize