Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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