Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize