It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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