corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
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Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize