Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize