Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
she smelled like a LAN party
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize