I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize