He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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