I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
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the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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