nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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