Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize