Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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