I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize