remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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