it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
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It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
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That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
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