I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Just invented taco cereal.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
If I die, sorry about rent.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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