Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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