it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Randomize