Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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