How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize