I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I can't put those talents on a resume
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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