Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
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