i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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