we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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