very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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