Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
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I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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