My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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