I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
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A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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