In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
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He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
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We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
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