What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize