dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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