we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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