ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
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this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
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She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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