Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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