Define "chronic" masturbator.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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