We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
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