i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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