When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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