I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize