i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Randomize