If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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