O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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