im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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