so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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