Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize