my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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